Sequoia 5

Dear Sequoia, they say it's the darkest before the dawn.  I think that is meant to give us hope in the most bleak of moments...and...I also hope that it also is just true.  Let the madness give way to the sunshine.  Let the intensity give way to the play.  

I was thinking about you today, and I thought about you yesterday as well.  I was watching a man hold his daughter and I felt into what he must be feeling, and it made me laugh.  What a crazy feeling it is to feel that kind of love and devotion.  This little girl was ready for anything, ready to take on life and show us the way.  I feel like that's how it is right now, I look to you for guidance. You are the the beacon in the distance.  I look towards you and feel grounded, you ground me.

I am about to graduate from graduate school, my life is in huge transition.  I don't know that my life has ever not been in transition.  It seems like everything I do is leading me radically to the next thing, only this time i can't imagine what is coming next.  Life is a wonderous unfolding of the most random of events, you just never know what you're going to get, who you're going to become.  I wonder what kind of world I'm creating for you....i mean the world at large, the world you will live in, but I also mean the world in me.  I hope I am becoming the kind of man that can be the kind of father that will give you the kind of life that you want to live.

I can hear you laughing at me.  You're wondering why I'm being so pedestrian about how i see life and children and parents when you know I don't actually see it that way.  I don't know.  Because...sometimes the traditional roots me enough to make the practical happen.  If i didn't root into any tradition I might just float away like embers.  But I know that you are coming with an agenda, like we all do.  I know you are going to be on the earth in the way you need to be.  I know that my role will be to not get in your way and support you in every way I can as you explore and unfold.

I have learned a lot about the journey of being human, and I so hope it will be useful to someone.  Every step I've walked has mattered.  Every minute I've wasted was worth wasting...because in truth, it has all mattered.

I don't know where your Mom is right now.  I will be seeing her tomorrow, she is coming for my graduation but she is on another planet...unreachable to me.  Please send her love and light, support and inspiration, kindness and generosity, openness and a desire to use it.  She needs you.  She doesn't know you like I know you, but she needs you more than she knows.

Okay beautiful girl, I have to go to bed.  Whatever comet you're riding on, be safe, be free, be wild, and come to me when you're ready....and when I'm most ready for you.

all my love,

mikey